A story of betrayal, heartbreak, and the strength to rise. Meet Aaliyah—and follow her search for the love and belonging she has always deserved.
EXPLORE THE SERIES ↗
Meet Aaliyah through a series about family, complicated love, and the search for a place to belong.
The beginning of Aaliyah’s journey, from her Chicago roots through the family ties and early relationships that shape her search for love and belonging.
Autobiographical fiction by Catonya Kouser. Book One introduces Aaliyah’s world and the experiences that lead her toward the next chapter of her life.
Aaliyah’s story continues through her relationship with Nassir and the choices that eventually lead her toward leaving Chicago for Memphis.
The second book in What Home Never Gave Me explores the pull of a powerful relationship and the difficult steps toward a new beginning.
Catonya Kouser wrote What Home Never Gave Me after looking back at the experiences that shaped her—the love, the heartbreak, and the times she struggled to hear her own voice. Through autobiographical fiction, she explores what it means to spend years searching for belonging, then begin to find home within herself.
For Catonya, that discovery means recognizing that belonging should never cost her own voice—and that she can love others without abandoning herself. It means trusting that her dreams deserve a place in the life she is building. She shares her story with the hope that another woman will recognize something of herself in its pages and begin to believe: whatever she has lived through, she still has a future worth reaching for.
Chapter One: “The House Before I Knew Better” · Opening passage
Step into Aaliyah’s childhood home, where the noise of family life holds both humor and a longing to belong.
Before Aaliyah knew families could break apart, she knew the sound of a full house. Somebody was always talking, fussing, or looking for a shoe they swore somebody else had moved.
“Who got my brush?”
“Get out the bathroom!”
“Ma! Tell her to give it back!”
And somewhere in the middle was Aaliyah, making sure nobody did anything interesting without her. The television played, doors slammed, and Mommy called names from another room like she expected everybody to hear her through walls. Somehow, they usually did.
Renee was the oldest girl, then Danielle, then Aaliyah, followed by the two little ones. Renee and Danielle were old enough to do things together. Aaliyah was stuck in the middle: old enough to know she was being left out but young enough for everybody to tell her, “You too little.”
Too little to go. Too little to know. But somehow never too little when somebody needed something.
“Aaliyah, go bring me my shoes.”
Ain’t I too little?
“Aaliyah, go see what the baby doing.”
Oh, now I'm big enough.
She loved Renee and Danielle and wanted to be wherever they were. If they fixed their hair, she needed hers fixed. If they laughed, she wanted the joke.
“What y’all laughing at?”
“Nothing.”
“Well, why y’all laughing?”
“Girl, go somewhere.”
Go where? This was her house too. Sometimes she'd plant her hands on her hips and refuse to move until Renee laughed. That felt like winning. She'd walk away pretending not to care, then circle back five minutes later to see what she'd missed.
End of opening passage · From What Home Never Gave Me — Book One
Chapter One: “The Boy at the Bus Stop” · Opening scene
Meet Aaliyah on a summer morning in Chicago, where an ordinary walk to work becomes the beginning of something new.
Summer changed Aaliyah’s mornings. Violet and Kareem spent their days at Granny’s while she worked. Getting dressed no longer involved missing shoes or two children calling
“Mommy” from opposite sides of the apartment. The first quiet morning, she stood in her security uniform and looked around.
“That’s it?”
Nobody needed juice. Both of her shoes were on her feet.
“Oh, I can get used to this.”
She grabbed her bag and headed for the bus stop. Chicago was already warm enough to warn her about the afternoon. She had barely started down the block when somebody called behind her.
“Hey, shorty.”
She kept walking.
“Hey!”
Aaliyah turned. A young man stood a little way behind her. She glanced around, then pointed at herself.
“You talking to me?”
“Yeah. You new around here, huh?”
“Yeah. And I gotta go to work. I ain’t got time to talk.”
He laughed.
“Nah, shorty. It ain’t even like that. Sometimes they be shooting around here.”
Aaliyah stopped.
“What?”
“I’m telling you.”
She looked up the block, then back at him.
“Boy, you just trying to scare somebody.”
She started walking again. He caught up.
“So you really walking me to the bus stop?”
“I’m making sure you get there safe.”
“I didn’t ask you to.”
“I know.”
Aaliyah shook her head.
“This little boy.”
“I ain’t no little boy.”
“I didn’t say that out loud.”
“Yes, you did.”
She laughed.
“Well, I was thinking it too.”
At the stop, she saw her bus approaching.
“All right. I made it.”
“Told you.”
“I know how to walk.”
He laughed as she stepped onto the bus. By the time she sat down, she was thinking about work again.
End of opening scene · From A Love I Couldn’t Leave Behind
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Book One is available now through Lulu.
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